diskusbooks Chapter 36 Snake and Dog Battle
Chapter 36 Snake and Dog Battle
"Junior brother, obstructing someone's path is worse than killing their parents. Why did you do this!"
The snake-skinned Taoist priest was so angry that his eyebrows stood on end, and he threw the blood-stained scissors in his hand away.
As the scissors splattered blood, they flew straight toward the dog-skinned Taoist priest.
Yun Xiangzi drew the wooden sword from his back to block, deflecting the scissors, which then stuck straight into a crack in the stone wall.
"Senior brother, this is impossible! You know him, Lin... Liu Feng can withstand the Red Robe Curse. You've seen how he solved the Wu family's case. What ordinary person would dare to investigate a cat demon murder alone!"
Yun Xiangzi explained very quickly, "Senior brother, could you have touched the wrong thing? Why don't you let me take a look?"
"You big idiot! I've spent my whole life refining pills, would I make a mistake? While you were touching a woman's breasts, I was touching a dead man's belly! Would I make a mistake?!"
The snake-skinned Taoist priest, who had initially remained calm, grew increasingly angry as he spoke, drawing his wooden sword and striking his junior brother. "Junior brother, I'm going to die! I can't survive! Master's divination was true; no one can escape it! You won't live either; you'll keep me company on the road to the Yellow Springs."
The wooden sword came crashing down on the dog-skinned Taoist priest, who fled in all directions, begging for mercy as he ran.
But it was completely useless. The snake-skinned Taoist priest was completely blinded by rage. He slashed and hacked wildly like a madman. Although he was short and stout, his strength was astonishing. Many bottles, jars, tables, chairs, and benches in the basement were smashed, and the sound of shattering echoed everywhere, creating chaos.
The dog-skinned Taoist priest dodged and begged for mercy, looking utterly pathetic.
Seeing the two of them like this, Lin Fan felt his pain lessen considerably. He smirked and said, "Alright, hit them! Hit them! You'd better beat the dog brains out!"
Clang! The two wooden swords collided, producing a sonic boom.
Dog-skin Taoist still had that humble, pleading expression, but now his face showed a hint of anger.
"Senior brother, stop! If you keep fighting, someone will die! I've been saying this before, that elixir of immortality is 99% fake. There's no such thing as an easy way out. You've spent over a decade neglecting your cultivation, and all these materials you've gathered, though precious, are just ordinary things! Think about it, how could you possibly achieve immortality with these? Over a decade of effort—if you ask me, you should use that time to enjoy the blessings of the world, wouldn't that be wonderful!"
"Immortality is real!" the snake-skinned Taoist roared, slashing down with his wooden sword. "You frog in a well, what do you know? You're a piece of trash who can't even preserve your primordial yang, what profound alchemy techniques could you possibly understand?"
The dog-skinned Taoist priest wasn't going to back down either, brandishing his wooden sword and slashing back: "Take a piss and look in the mirror, you pig-headed devil! People say you're a god descended from heaven, a master of miraculous medicines, and you actually believed it? Don't you know how many of those dregs you concocted are actually effective?"
"A heart with seven orifices? That's a fucking mental illness! Look at that heart full of holes. If you don't kill him, he won't live much longer!"
The snake-skinned Taoist ducked, dodging the dog-skinned Taoist's sword. He was older and had used up most of his strength in smashing things. Now he was somewhat exhausted and, panting, continued to swing his sword.
The Taoist priest with the dog skin was even more shrewd, wielding his sword while talking non-stop like a machine gun.
"An elixir of immortality? How many people in the world have you ever seen live past a hundred? What kind of bullshit book is this? You killed someone and stole it! How come the person you killed didn't live to a ripe old age and have long life, but instead got killed by your punch? You just picked up a book and believed it to be true? Are you out of your mind?!"
Neither of them seemed to know much about swordsmanship, and their usual fancy moves were completely useless at this moment when they were performing rituals.
The two were like two children fighting with sticks, hitting each other while cursing.
Lin Fan's lips twitched, and he sneered. Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. The quack Taoist priest said it was 99% fake, but he thought it was 100%. Immortality by mixing all this nonsense together? Who would believe that?
Absurd, utterly absurd. In the end, even his own death was so absurd, and he had to watch two charlatans fight to the death over a mere illusion.
It's a pity he can't move, otherwise he really wanted to applaud and cheer for the two in front of him. Good, well done! Dogs fighting, beat them even harder, smash their brains out! It would be best if they were both dead, all of us die together!
Heh, Lin Fan suddenly felt a little regretful. If immortality were real, his death wouldn't be so ridiculous.
At least he was killed by an evil Taoist priest who then achieved immortality, becoming a monstrous demon who wreaked havoc for a thousand years—that makes for a story. Even if a thousand years later someone points at him and curses him, saying, "This idiot was eaten, and that's how he became a demonic cultivator," at least someone will remember him.
And now? He was inexplicably killed by a lunatic because of a dubious pill formula. It's a complete joke!
The snake-skinned Taoist priest was already exhausted, and his sword-wielding hand was getting heavier and heavier. He was about to fall into a disadvantageous position.
He gritted his teeth and slashed hard with his sword to create distance between himself and the dog-skinned Taoist priest. Then he reached into his sleeve and pulled out a stack of talismans.
The yellow talismans scattered into the sky spontaneously combusted.
A strange phenomenon occurred, and a bizarre scene unfolded. Lin Fan suddenly saw several figures appear around him.
A little girl with a missing arm holding a waist drum; a little boy hanging upside down, head down and feet up; a boy without legs, with a rope hanging from his head; a girl in pink, barefoot...
Each 'person' had a face as pale as the Red Robe Curse, their expressions ranging from fear to smiles to terror, but all were eerily unsettling.
The snake-skinned Taoist priest seemed to be serious, as he actually summoned many spells using talismans.
Even though the Taoist priest hadn't smeared dog blood on his eyes, he clearly saw the curses, and his expression turned serious.
The snake-skinned Taoist priest, along with a group of others, charged towards the dog-skinned Taoist priest.
With the help of the incantations, the snake-skinned Taoist priest quickly gained the upper hand.
These spells would slip through the dog-skinned Taoist's body, causing him to momentarily lose his senses.
Therefore, whenever the snake-skinned Taoist strikes with his sword, the dog-skinned Taoist either manages to parry or takes the hit. And if the dog-skinned Taoist tries to retaliate, he is interrupted by a curse, and the initiative returns to the snake-skinned Taoist.
Although the snake-skinned Taoist was panting heavily, he was extremely proactive, practically whipping the dog-skinned Taoist.
Seeing the dog-skinned Taoist priest gradually losing ground, Lin Fan secretly cheered in his heart, "Good, good, beat him to death!"
The dog-skinned Taoist priest knew this wouldn't work, so he gave up resisting and desperately fled in all directions.
On his escape, he picked up the scissors stuck in the rock and threw them at the snake-skinned Taoist priest. The priest, trying to dodge the flying scissors, took a step back, buying the dog-skinned Taoist priest a little time.
He bit his tongue hard, and with his fingers stained with blood, he drew in the air.
The blood on his hands formed strange patterns in the air, just like the graffiti he had drawn with black dog blood when dealing with the Red-Clothed Curse. Only this time, he drew extremely fast, his fingers leaving afterimages.
As he finished his last stroke, the dog-skinned Taoist priest made a hand seal, and the patterns transformed into stick figures that scattered and pounced on the curses.
One by one, stick figures burrowed into the bodies of curses, and the expressions on the faces of these curses all turned to pain. They began to wail silently, rolling around on the ground incessantly.
The dog-skinned Taoist priest didn't take advantage of the situation. Instead, he leaned on his sword and gasped for breath, clearly exhausted. He quickly waved his hand and said, "Senior brother, let's stop, let's stop, I can't fight anymore! We were taught by the same master, we can't break each other's moves!"
Lin Fan had thought the snake-skinned Taoist wouldn't let him off so easily.
Unexpectedly, the snake-skinned Taoist sat down heavily, panting, and said, "Fine, it's too late now, there's no use killing you." He gave the dog-skinned Taoist a good beating, vented his anger, and was no longer so anxious.
The Taoist priest felt relieved and moved to the doorway to sit against the wall. He apologized and said, "Senior brother, I'm sorry for what happened. If you ever need anything in the future, I will go through fire and water for you."
As he spoke, he took out the porcelain bottle that the snake-skinned Taoist had given him earlier from his clothes and said, "After sparring with my senior brother for a while, I also had some enlightenment. I am indeed far inferior to my senior brother. What you said is not entirely wrong. My time is coming soon, and I should not waste any more time. Why not recreate my virgin body here and walk my path of cultivation to see if there is still a way out?"
Upon hearing this, the snake-skinned Taoist priest's old face twitched, and his obese body trembled, as if he wanted to get up and stop the dog-skinned Taoist priest from swallowing the 'dragon blood'.
However, the two were a few steps apart. The snake-skinned Taoist's hand was still in mid-air, while the dog-skinned Taoist tilted his head back and swallowed the whole bright red dragon blood. He then sat cross-legged to absorb the medicinal power.
The snake-skinned Taoist priest moved his mouth, but didn't say anything; he just swallowed.
Seeing the snakeskin Taoist's unease, the dog-skin Taoist asked, "Senior brother, do you also think I was too decisive? But isn't that how the Great Dao works? If you hesitate even once, you may have to hesitate for the rest of your life."
The snake-skinned Taoist priest said without changing his expression, "Junior brother is right. I am very pleased that you have such a heart for seeking the Tao."
As the snake-skinned Taoist priest spoke, he silently turned his head, his hand trembling as he reached into his robes and pulled out a porcelain bottle.
He had his back to the dog-skinned Taoist priest, so the priest couldn't see him, but he was directly facing Lin Fan, who could see him clearly.
He poured a handful of pills from the bottle; they were of different colors and sizes.
Lin Fan recognized one of them; the dark red one was a Power Pill!
Lin Fan's lips twitched; it seemed there was still more to see.
The snake-skinned Taoist priest was extremely nervous and tried to minimize his movements. His weak hands trembled as he slowly put a handful of pills into his mouth.
Just as the pill was about to touch his lips, the snake-skinned Taoist priest stopped.
The dog-skinned Taoist priest with bloodshot eyes was already standing beside him, and a thin, dry hand firmly grasped the snake-skinned Taoist priest's old hand.
Seeing this, Lin Fan couldn't help but want to clap and cheer.
The snake-skinned Taoist priest was about to put the pill into his mouth when the dog-skinned Taoist priest wouldn't let him have his way and yanked his hand away.
The snake-skinned Taoist priest subconsciously clenched his fist so that all the pills would stay in his palm and not fall out.
The Taoist priest with the dog-skin raised his hand high and loudly questioned, "Senior brother, you actually tried to cheat me with fake goods!"
The snakeskin-skinned Taoist priest's eyes hardened as he retorted, "Junior brother, didn't you also try to cheat me with counterfeit goods? Why don't we settle this evenly? Hmph, dragon blood? If I really had something that good, would I give it to you?"