Reborn back to college to have a love affair

Chapter 154 Past

Jiang Shao returned home from the club, opened the door and turned on the light. The dark room was instantly illuminated by the light. The room was narrow and messy.

He simply cleared a place and opened the meal he bought from outside.

He couldn't remember how long it had been since he'd worked during the day and went to the club at night or on weekends to earn some extra money.

He worked hard to earn money.

He hoped that one day in the future when they met, he wouldn't be so miserable.

His best friend said that she was doing well and she didn't want him to disturb her. In fact, he himself didn't dare to go. In his current state, he didn't dare to appear in front of her.

However, when a person looks back on the past, those happy and sad past events are like sharp blades that cut him one by one, and the past makes him feel suffocated.

He came to Beijing, the city where she was, wanting to see her but afraid to see her.

Sometimes there is hope in my heart, and sometimes there is sober despair.

Sometimes he wanted to let go, and he told himself that she might have found someone better. But he couldn't let go.

Some obsessions tore at him, and his heart was already riddled with holes.

I took a bite of the rice and it was already cold.

He has eaten cold meals more than once, especially he still remembers the first time. When he came back then, the aroma of cooking from every household wafted through the community and the corridors from time to time. The warmth of home made people envious.

But when I got home, picked up the dinner I bought, and took a bite, I felt disappointed.

That time, I was so sad that I choked and couldn't swallow. I forced myself to eat a few bites, but I really couldn't eat anymore.

He never cried when his family was broke, he never cried when his family was oppressed and burdened with debt, and he never showed weakness when he was forced into a desperate situation.

But after eating a mouthful of cold rice, he cried heart-wrenchingly in his rented house in Beijing.

The suppressed regrets and grievances seemed to have finally found an outlet for release. No one knew how fragile he was.

He doesn't want others to know either.

He ate the cold fried rice calmly.

After a quick tidy up, I lay down on the bed.

The darkness magnified his longing, and seeing a familiar figure tonight made some dusty memories become clear.

Only after comparing with the past do we realize how important what we have lost is.

He thought of Xia Qing again.

Wherever she is, there is warmth and joy. The house will be kept clean and tidy by her, and when she comes home from get off work, there will be a hot dinner prepared by her loved one.

Those seemingly ordinary daily life are now a luxury of happiness for him.

Without her, it's like losing home and happiness.

He didn't want to mention his parents because he still had resentment in his heart. He also didn't want to mention that marriage that seemed like a joke because it was evidence of her betrayal and nailed him firmly to the pillar of shame.

But, in reality, he was the one who should be blamed the most. His own cowardice, evasion, and lack of responsibility had caused him to abandon her without even a fight with his family. He didn't even dare to face her, leaving her like a runaway, leaving her with such deep hurt.

It was his distorted values that made him approve of exchanging marriage for benefits and hurt two women.

It was because he lacked the courage to shoulder the shaky family business.

By the time he finally learned to stand up like a man, the best time had already been missed.

He persuaded himself that it was not too late. He did not have the ability to turn the tide, but just walked out of the predicament step by step with difficulty.

Although the result cannot be compared with the previous one, he has managed to settle his parents.

The only thing he couldn't settle was that he couldn't let go of her.

So, I came to Beijing again.

With expectation, guilt and unspeakable blessings.

I hope to see her and talk to her again.

He felt guilty about the hurt he had caused her in the past, and the guilt and regret that had kept him tossing and turning in bed for countless sleepless nights.

The blessing is that he knows that he is in such a bad state that he is not worthy of her to forgive him and accept him again. He just hopes that she will be happy. Even if the happiness is given by others, as long as she is happy, it is enough.

It was already late when Xia Qing and Cui Jinsong returned.

But the New Year's Day holiday is just a few days away, and Xia Qing plans to go back to her hometown.

Cui Jinsong stayed in Beijing during the holiday and didn't go back. He originally wanted to spend a short vacation with Xia Qing, but Xia Qing insisted on going back.

Xia Qing was a little scared. She was suddenly reborn at this time in her previous life. She was afraid that this time point was the entrance to a cycle of time. She was afraid that she would disappear again if she was not careful. After all, some things will happen a second time after the first time. So she was feeling anxious recently and wanted to go home.

This was also something that had been decided a long time ago after I had a disagreement with Cui Jinsong.

At present, in her heart, Cui Jinsong is not more important than her parents.

She wanted to stay with her parents.

Cui Jinsong did not force it. After all, the two of them were not at the point where she would compromise for him.

Early in the morning on the day of the holiday, Cui Jinsong helped Xia Qing carry her bags and sent her to the station.

Xia Qing bought a lot of things for the family, including some for her parents, her younger brother, her grandmother and her uncle.

When she got home, her mother scolded her for spending money recklessly, but she was very happy in her heart.

That night, she couldn't wait any longer and withdrew some cash from her savings to give to her uncle and grandmother. Rural people have not yet widely adopted electronic payment and are still accustomed to paying in cash.

I also gave my parents some cash for daily expenses.

Then she took out two gold bars, which she had bought at the bank with her salary over the years.

She was afraid that if she died, the numbers in her salary card might disappear without a trace, and everything related to her might disappear.

She originally wanted to buy a house for her parents first, but she couldn't pay the full amount.

Thinking that gold is a good store of value, she bought gold.

It seemed like she was explaining how to distribute her property after her death. Xia Qing's parents were frightened, thinking that something had happened to her.

She would never say things that sound untrue. She just used the excuse of wanting to be nicer to her family to get away with it.

When she went to bed at night, she was afraid that once she closed her eyes, she would not know whether she would wake up the next day or where she would wake up.

As a result, she was worrying too much and was overly anxious.

Nothing happened all night.

Then everything was normal the next day, she was relieved, and spent the next night safely.

It turned out that it was not what she thought.

The previous life in her memory might not have been a previous life at all, but a dream she had, right? Was this the only life she had?

Is it a dream? It’s a dream!

Xia Qing was happy. Since she had nothing to do, she wanted to go back to Beijing.

Keeping warm makes her think about sex. Now that she has no worries, she wants to fall in love again. The key is that she has a boyfriend.

I can't wait to see him.

Once she had the idea, she took action immediately and bought a ticket for the next afternoon.

She wanted to give him a surprise, so she didn't inform him in advance.

In the evening, I dragged my tired body to Cui Jinsong's house, but no one was there.

What was worse was that because she came back suddenly on a whim, she left the key to her house and the key Cui Jinsong gave her at home.

She can't get into the house.