diskusbooks #370 - The palace drama shot by Yinzi made the whole internet laugh! (2 in 1 order required)
#370 - The palace drama shot by Yinzi made the whole internet laugh! (2 in 1 order required)
The barrage went wild:
"Hahaha, the Emperor is treating the beauty's saliva as toner!"
"Absorbed it."
"Emperor's inner thoughts: Oh, she's a little firecracker."
Seeing Emperor Yuan Jing's newfound pity, the Queen hurriedly said:
"Your Majesty, this woman is extremely sinful. Not only did she incite rebellion, but she also attempted assassination. Quickly send her on her way."
Jing Yuan Emperor directly stretched out an Er Kang hand:
"Cho... cho... chotto matte!"
The barrage laughed: "Goodness, he directly spoke the language of the Wokou (Japanese pirates)?"
Jing Yuan Emperor glanced at Yue Xiuhua. At this moment, this girl's watery eyes were staring straight at Jing Yuan Emperor.
Although her eyes were full of anger, the Emperor felt that she was flirting with him.
Jing Yuan Emperor swallowed his saliva and earnestly said:
"Empress, haven't you been advising me not to engage in any more killing? Putting aside the facts, if I didn't have any faults, would this Yue Xiuhua girl have rebelled?
Besides, she is a weak woman with no strength to truss a chicken. I don't believe she is the mastermind!"
After speaking, he winked at the group of ministers on his left.
The Vice Minister of the Ministry of Rites stepped forward and said:
"Your Majesty is right. This humble official also feels that Miss Yue Xiuhua doesn't seem like the ringleader. The leader of 'The Fifteenth of the First Month' must be someone else!"
The Queen was stunned after hearing this: "Vice Minister of the Ministry of Rites, this is the Golden Luan Hall. You must be careful with your words! The case of the Fifteenth of the First Month was jointly tried by the Three Judicial Divisions. Vice Minister of the Ministry of Justice, what do you say?"
The Vice Minister of the Ministry of Justice nodded and said: "This official also feels... judging from her appearance, Miss Yue Xiuhua has been wronged."
"Yes, yes, yes, she must have been wronged."
The group of ministers beside him echoed in unison.
The Queen directly laughed in anger.
Seeing that the ministers all said so, Jing Yuan Emperor also perked up:
"I knew it. Look at her aggrieved appearance, oh~ it seems that there are other hidden secrets behind these cases! Someone, take Yue Xiuhua to my bedroom. I want to interrogate her alone!"
The barrage went crazy with laughter:
"Hahahaha, the Emperor was ruthless before, but now he has abandoned his principles. I'm dying of laughter."
"'Interrogate Alone'"
"Tell us the details of the private interrogation."
"You know what, although the streamer is filming this TV series as a terrible one, it's actually quite interesting to watch!"
The Queen and the concubines of the harem saw that the Emperor was clearly lusting after her.
After all, whether it was the Queen or the concubines present, their beauty was completely overshadowed by Yue Xiuhua. Compared to her, the harem were all bland, aging women.
Oh no, the Emperor doesn't want to bring this woman into the harem, does he?
A woman who was born as an assassin, even if the three thousand beauties of the harem joined forces, they wouldn't be able to outwit her!
The Queen hurriedly grabbed Emperor Jing Yuan's arm,
"Your Majesty, don't you know that she set such a big fire in the harem a few days ago in order to assassinate you?
The fire spread to your bedroom and burned your favorite gold-thread rocking pants."
"Pfft~"
Hearing what the Queen said, Yue Xiuhua accidentally laughed.
Her willow-leaf eyebrows curved, and she gently covered her cherry-like mouth.
The lustful men in the barrage also fell for her:
"Although the actress laughed, her pursed-lip smile is so cute!"
"The gold-thread rocking pants couldn't hold back."
"Such a beautiful woman, if I were the Emperor, I would also fall."
Emperor Jing Yuan hesitated for a moment and said:
"It's just a pair of pants, no big deal... big deal, I just won't wear them. It's more comfortable to hang loose. Besides, how do you know that Yue Xiuhua set the fire?"
Yin Zi: "God damn hanging loose, this Tianmei Media director is specializing in the lower three paths, isn't he?"
Yue Xiuhua, who was slumped on the ground, sneered:
"I set it, I set the fire. I'll burn you to death, you foolish ruler!"
As soon as Emperor Jing Yuan heard Yue Xiuhua actively admit it, he quickly and anxiously winked at her, making a "shush" gesture.
The surrounding ministers and imperial guards were also anxiously "shushing" at her.
The Queen was even more angry when she saw the demoness being so arrogant:
"Your Majesty, did you hear that? Did you hear that! She admitted it herself!"
The Queen, who was full of jealousy, seeing that the tough approach didn't work, simply took a soft approach, crying and saying:
"Your Majesty, please quickly send this demoness on her way. This concubine is also thinking of Your Majesty's safety!"
Emperor Jing Yuan was stunned for a moment again, and then opened his mouth and said:
"Empress, she just set fire to the palace, a trivial matter, it's not enough to warrant death, oh.
Oh, right, it seems that that night, I was smoking a pipe in my bedroom and accidentally lit the curtain. It's not her fault!"
After saying that, he winked desperately at the Vice Minister of the Ministry of Rites.
The Vice Minister of the Ministry of Rites rolled his eyes and quickly echoed:
"What Your Majesty said is absolutely correct, and through this matter, it can be seen that there are also great problems with our palace's fire prevention system. Taking a step back, even if Miss Yue set the fire, she helped us check for fire hazards."
Emperor Jing Yuan quickly nodded: "Yes, yes, yes, what the esteemed minister said is absolutely correct!"
The barrage laughed:
"Hahaha, this development, it's worthy of being a divine drama!"
"God damn fire hazard, are you filming a skit here?"
"The men in the hall are now all thinking with another head, I'm dying of laughter."
Yue Xiuhua almost couldn't hold back after hearing these lines, and desperately pursed her cherry-like mouth to prevent herself from laughing.
Emperor Jing Yuan waved his hand:
"If it weren't for Miss Yue Xiuhua setting this fire, if there were a real fire in the future, the consequences would be unimaginable. Speaking of which, not only can we not punish Miss Yue, but we must also reward her heavily! Someone, bestow Miss Yue with a thousand taels of gold."
At this time, not only the Queen, but also many concubines were completely dumbfounded.
They stared at each other, as if Jing Yuan Emperor, who was killing people like flies a second ago, had been completely replaced.
The barrage continued to laugh:
"Female lead: He still has to thank us."
"What you said makes sense."
"It's beyond reason, even a famous detective wants to give the Emperor a thumbs up."
"Watching this divine drama, I've completely thrown my brain away hahaha."
...
Consort Shu couldn't bear to watch any longer, she anxiously and coquettishly said:
"Your Majesty, why are you still rewarding her? I, I have evidence that Yue Xiuhua is plotting to harm you!"
After speaking, she took out a small cloth bag from her sleeve, which contained some residual dregs of medicine, emitting a dark aura.
"This is the poison that my servants found on her when they caught her. It contains potent laxatives like croton. She wants to slowly kill you, Your Majesty!"
Emperor Jing Yuan hesitated for a moment, stared with both eyes, and retorted with righteous indignation:
"Did I die? Aren't I still jumping around here? She didn't succeed, what are you saying here? Presumption of innocence, do you understand?"
Barrage:
"What Your Majesty said is very reasonable."
"Sun Wukong: Annoying to death.jpg"
Consort Shu said anxiously:
"But Your Majesty, after you were poisoned, you had diarrhea for two consecutive months! You couldn't even walk!"
Emperor Jing Yuan waved his hand and said impatiently:
"Oh, what's the big deal, isn't it normal to have diarrhea after eating spicy hot pot?
Actually, it's also good to occasionally transform into a projectile fighter. Not only can it detoxify, but it can also lose weight. What do you know? I just like to have diarrhea!"
The Queen and concubines once again opened their mouths into an "O" shape, feeling unbelievable at Emperor Jing Yuan's words.
Barrage complains: "Are you also a Diarrhea Expert?"
The Vice Minister of the Ministry of Revenue added: "After Your Majesty was poisoned, you lost more than five kilograms, and you look more energetic and handsome."
The other ministers nodded in agreement.
Emperor Jing Yuan waved his hand and said to the many concubines:
"Alright, stop talking nonsense. Miss Yue is extremely intelligent, both literary and martial arts are excellent. It's just right for her to stay by my side and serve me!"
"Empress, you are the mother of the world, you must take the lead in opening up the pattern! Don't always put killing on your lips, it's not good, it will anger the heavens!"
"Hey, no, I, I, what the hell..."
Who was killing people like flies just now?
Hit by the boomerang thrown out by Emperor Jing Yuan, the Queen's lips trembled with anger.
The barrage went crazy with laughter:
"Hahaha, fatuous ruler, fatuous ruler!"
"I understand King Zhou now."
"Actually, the more cute and innocent something looks, the more likely it is to be the most deadly."
Seeing Emperor Jing Yuan being lustful, Yue Xiuhua sneered with a righteous face:
"Fatuous ruler! If I had known you were such a shameless and lewd person, I should have put two more pounds of croton in your wine!"
Concubine Xiao couldn't bear it any longer.
Duang~duang~duang~
She shook her fat body and picked up a bottle of wine from the short table behind her,
"Oh, you poisonous woman! You actually plotted to harm His Majesty like this, say! Do you want to seductively tempt His Majesty to drink in the future?"
After scolding, Concubine Xiao directly splashed the wine in the cup on Yue Xiuhua's face.
Yue Xiuhua's beautiful face was drenched with crystal droplets, and she subconsciously said coquettishly: "Ah, it's so cold~"
This voice was quite pleasant to hear, like the singing of a lark.
The wet hair and bangs clung tightly to her cheeks.
She looked at Emperor Jing Yuan with cat-like, pitiful eyes.
Such a perfect face, a little more meat would be too fat, a little less meat would be too thin,
It can truly be said to be a jade-like appearance, carved from powder and jade!
Emperor Jing Yuan's eyes widened like copper bells, completely stunned.
The newest novels are first published at [six][nine][shu][ba]
At this time, the screen filter also turned pink, and the background music began to play ambiguous saxophone tunes.
"Oh... ooh!"
The ministers also squinted to appreciate Yue Xiuhua's beauty.
The barrage was swarming:
"Tsk tsk tsk, no man can resist such coquetry."
"So pitiful, my heart is going numb."
"I guess this actress is trying to show that kind of unyielding spirit, but because her acting skills are not up to par, she ended up acting out a cute effect, hahaha."
"It's already a divine drama, why do you need acting skills? We're just watching this for fun."
The corners of Emperor Jing Yuan's mouth couldn't help but curve up, and he said shyly:
"This palace jade liquor... is it that cold? It shouldn't be? I'll try it too."
After he finished speaking, he snatched the wine bottle from Concubine Xiao's hand and poured a full cup of wine.
"Is it cold?"
Emperor Jing Yuan splashed it on Yue Xiuhua's face.
"Dame yo~"
Yue Xiuhua once again dodged coquettishly, like a little cat.
Emperor Jing Yuan got more and more excited as he played.
"Oh~ one more time?"
"No oh!"
Seeing this scene, the Queen and the many concubines were struck by lightning, completely dumbfounded.
This... is this still that incomparably majestic Emperor?
The Queen was the first to react and said loudly:
"This demoness must have used some kind of witchcraft to bewitch His Majesty!"
Concubine Xiao also nodded, eagerly trying to win favor:
"That's right, look at this slut's appearance, she's so pretentious, pretending to be even purer than pure milk, and 'Hey, it's so cold', RNM, as if no one knows how to do that, Your Majesty, watch me perform!"
After speaking, she picked up another bottle of wine, and while splashing it on her fat face, she began to shake her fat body, shouting:
"Hey, it's so cold, ooh, so cold!"
After that, her big pancake face approached Emperor Jing Yuan, twisting her water-bucket waist, winking and acting cute:
"Your Majesty, you also splash me, come on!"
Emperor Jing Yuan was admiring Yue Xiuhua's beauty, and when he saw Concubine Xiao constantly blocking his view, making him feel so disgusted that he was about to throw up his overnight meal, anger rose from his heart:
"Hey, you mother selling... such precious palace jade liquor, who allowed you to waste it like this? The world is in the midst of a great disaster, we should take the lead in saving, you deserve to die ten thousand times!"
Emperor Jing Yuan drew his sword and shouted: "Hasage!"
A flash of sword light passed, and Concubine Xiao was directly slashed to the ground.
The barrage went crazy with laughter:
"Want to criticize but stop."
"Good fellow, are you also a Yasuo?"
"I can't stop laughing, I finally know what it means to imitate Dong Shi."
"This plot is so heaven-defying, I laughed like a pig."
"Emperor Jing Yuan: Although I am tyrannical and extort taxes, I am thrifty, although I can splash wine casually, but others cannot waste it, the highlight is a double standard, hahaha!"
The Queen was sneering in her heart when she saw Concubine Xiao's end.
A stupid woman with no ink in her chest is like this.
An idea struck her, and a plan came to her mind.
She took the initiative to say: "Your Majesty, I understand that you don't want to be stained with blood again in order to avoid angering the heavens. Since this Yue Xiuhua is determined to die, why don't we give her a cup of poisoned wine and let her end her own life? This will also reflect your kindness, and the people of the world will definitely admire you even more."
The Queen's statement had no loopholes, and giving poisoned wine was also a rule of execution, so Emperor Jing Yuan couldn't find any rebuttals for a while.
The ministers shook their heads at Emperor Jing Yuan and whispered: "Your Majesty, absolutely not, please think twice!"
Emperor Jing Yuan scratched his head and hesitated: "Uh, this, oh..."
The Queen quickly said: "Your Majesty said 'oh', Your Majesty agreed, someone, where are the imperial guards? Quickly bring her the poisoned wine!"
"Hey, no, I didn't..."
Emperor Jing Yuan hurriedly tried to stop it, but the imperial guards had already placed the poisoned wine in front of Yue Xiuhua.
The concubines urged one after another: "Drink it quickly, what are you hesitating for?"
The Queen also scolded angrily: "Demoness, don't try to delay!"
After speaking, the Queen and a group of concubines surrounded her and poured the poisoned wine into Yue Xiuhua's mouth.
The imperial concubines' faces twisted grotesquely. "Damn it, drink! Why aren't you drinking?"
The audience in the live stream mocked, "Is your code name also Pangolin?"
The poisoned wine drew closer to Yue Xiuhua's lips. She squirmed slightly, pouting and shaking her head with tear-filled eyes.
"Umm~~~ This humble one doesn't want to."
As she pouted, her oval face and large eyes blinked, a subtle sweetness hidden within.
This made her appear even more pitiful.
The Jingyuan Emperor was once again captivated. He was as anxious as an ant on a hot pot, and quickly said,
"Who was the fool who presented this poisoned wine? Did I agree to it? Whoever presented the wine will drink it!"
The other ministers also raised their arms and shouted in unison,
"Whoever presented the wine will drink it!"
"Whoever presented the wine will drink it!"
"Whoever presented the wine will drink it!"
Being egged on by the crowd like this, the imperial guard who brought the wine quickly responded,
"Your humble servant is here!"
The Jingyuan Emperor nodded. "I will take care of your affairs after your death. You can go in peace."
The imperial guard glanced again at Yue Xiuhua's pouting and cute appearance, and was instantly mesmerized. He mustered his courage, picked up the wine, and drank it in one gulp.
"Ah, I'm going to die, going to die, going to die..."
The imperial guard clutched his chest, then slowly sat down, falling to the ground mechanically.
After falling, he specifically added,
"Ah, I'm dead."
"Pfft."
Yue Xiuhua burst out laughing again, pressing her cherry lips tightly together, trying not to laugh out loud.
This awkward performance instantly drove the live stream audience wild with laughter:
"She laughed, she definitely laughed, right?"
"The little sister couldn't hold it in."
The Vice Minister of the Ministry of Justice said, "Your Majesty, look at this imperial guard, falling to the ground with a smile on his face. He died willingly."
The Vice Minister of the Ministry of Rites nodded. "That's right, it's a happy occasion."
The Jingyuan Emperor also nodded. "I see, it's a happy occasion. Then I can rest assured."
The audience in the live stream mocked, "Good heavens, did he drink 'Laughing Death Powder'?"
...
The situation had already developed to this point. The Empress became anxious. She gritted her teeth and stamped her foot, saying,
"If there's no more poisoned wine, then we can only call for the executioner. Your Majesty, let the executioner in to behead her!"